November is National Alzheimer’s month and the beginning of the holiday festivities. It’s an excellent time for those of us with family members or friends with memory problems to think about the best way to help them during the hectic, often confusing, holiday season.
If you’re like most people, the holidays bring family gatherings and favorite foods. But this change in routine is sometimes very disruptive to a person with memory problems. Here are some tips to remember:
- When approaching a person who may not immediately remember you, introduce yourself. Saying “Do you remember me?” can put the person on the defensive and make him or her uncomfortable. Saying “Good to see you, Aunt Joan! I’m Jane, Rose’s daughter!” is much more helpful.
- Talk about the past, but don’t ask the person with memory problems to recite the stories. You tell the story, and let them chime in if they feel comfortable. Putting them on the spot to recall details creates unnecessary pressure.
- When serving a meal with foods that may not be routine, try to keep the portions small. Where possible, cut meat and larger potatoes and vegetables into smaller pieces, so it will be easier to eat. Depending on the person’s level of confusion, you may want to keep the place setting simple, and leave only a butter knife, or no knife at all. Many people with dementia will pick up food with their hands; don’t make a big deal over it, keep napkins handy, and allow them to eat comfortably.
- Food choices are extremely important, especially for dessert. Try to offer decaf coffee and dessert selections that are not all sugar; both caffeine and sugar can make a person with memory issues agitated and worsen their confusion. Alcohol is not recommended.
- When planning seating arrangements, try to keep the person with memory problems close to the end of the table, in a place that is easy to move from if needed. Getting to the bathroom or removing him or herself from crowded quarters may be necessary, and it will be easier and less disruptive if they are at the end of the table.
- When driving a person with dementia home, try to have another person sit with him or her in the back seat. Traveling in the dark might trigger an unusual reaction, and having company may ease the tension. Music is a great way to help everyone stay relaxed; I recommend “Alzheimer’s Music Connect.” You can purchase a full six-CD gift set, or download the CDs from their website at www.alzheimersmusicconnect.com. (I like CD #4 for travelling in the car!)
